Ralph Breaks the Internet [2018] spoiler review

Going in, I knew the general premise was that the Sugar Rush steering wheel was going to break and the goal for Ralph and Vanellope was to get a new one to save the game so all the characters had a home to go back to since having your game unplugged was a huge deal, based on the events of the first movie.  And how would they get a new steering wheel?  The internet. 

So I kind of figured they'd get the steering wheel with relative ease, maybe a hiccup here or there, while going on some fun adventures in the internet based on what I saw in the trailers specifically in reference to the Disney Princess scene.

I was slightly disappointed to learn that getting the steering wheel would be the goal throughout the entire movie.  On their way to accomplish their goal, while creative at times, sometimes felt contrived based on the worst parts of the internet.

So while on their way to eBay to win the auction for the steering wheel, they meet characters that represent a pop up.  They decide to use the pop up which brought them to the racing game which makes sense because, pardon my pun, as that's in Vanellope's wheel house.  We meet Gal Gadot's character Shank who gets way too many lines and way too much screen time.  It felt like the people in the game were trying to be the Fast and the Furious family, but I never got a sense of family from them.  

After failing to achieve their goal in the racing game per the direction of the pop up character, Shank tells them to go see Yes who runs Buzz Tube or something very similar to Youtube.  Yes helps Ralph make videos which get likes which gets them money.  They get enough money to buy the steering wheel and their mission is accomplished.

But the steering wheel wasn't, again sorry for the pun, driving the story, but the friendship between Ralph and Vanellope was supposed to be focus.  Vanellope was tired of the same thing day in and day out and dreamt of something bigger / more out of life, while Ralph liked things the way they were for the past six years.  Their friendship is tested, they fight, and eventually Ralph learns to deal with his insecurities and is able to let her go.  So Vanellope decides to stay in Shank's game and Ralph still gets to talk and visit his friend when he can i.e. when an upgrade is happening for the online game that Vanellope is now a part of.

So while I appreciated the overall message, I think the execution was a little lacking.  I loved the Disney Princess stuff and wish they were more involved with the story than they were.  I would have much rather had more of them and less of fake Youtube and fake Fast and the Furious plot lines.

In summary, I enjoyed the original more.  It needed more Disney Princesses.  C+

Fantastic Beasts The Grimes of Grindelwad [2018] spoiler review

Going into this movie, the only thing I knew is what I knew from the first movie and that Dumbledore and Gindelwald were supposedly romantically involved via the implications of the last Harry Potter book and tweets from Rowling herself.  So below is my take on things mixed with the questions I still have.

1)  The opening escape sequence - how did Grindelwald and Abernathy switch places?  Did they switch bodies allowing Grindelwald to get his tongue back?  I was very confused on what was going on.

2)  Then we get Newt and Leta at the Ministry.  Who were those guys in the room?  None of them introduced themselves or said their names.  Why was Leta there?  What does she do again?  Is she an auror?  Also, random guy hiding in the corner that turned out to be a follower of Gindelwald later -  who was that?  Did he ever say his name?

3)  I don't think any of Grindelwald's crew ever said their names or I missed them.  The only name I knew at this point was Abernathy, Grindelwald, Newt, Leta, and Newt's brother who's name I know was mentioned, but I need to look up.

4)  Cool, Queenie and Jacob show up.  I know those people.  But why does Queenie have Jacob charmed?  Because he didn't want to run away together?  Who's running the bakery back in America?   Also, who is Newt's assistant?  Is that Newt's house?  It feels like he was running his own private zoo outside of the suitcase, right?

5)  And back to more people I know - Tina and Credence.  Credence works at this traveling freak-show/circus and has developed feeling for Nagini and also is trying to figure out who is real family is.  Tina is following him.

6)  Oh I forget, we get young Dumbledore and we learn that he was the one that sent Newt to America.  Cool, something tying the first movie and second movie plot together.  I didn't catch what Newt was supposed to do or what Dumbledore wanted him to do in the first movie, but cool, Newt is secretly working for Dumbledore but everyone at the Ministry sees right through it so it's not a secret and he's being watched/followed?  Maybe both of them are?

7)  Anyway, back to the circus, we meet a new player.  It sounded like his name was Comma like the punctuation, but after looking it up it's Yusuf Kama.  Who is this guy now?

8)  So Newt likes Tina (duh) and he learns that she is in Paris and she also thinks that Newt is engaged because of a poor use of grammar in a publication of some sort.  So now everyone is in Paris but WAIT, we need to visit Hogwarts for some reason.

9)  Hogwarts

- Dumbledore is questioned and nothing comes of it other that we learn he can not or will not fight Grindlewald

- He gets some weird bracelets so now the Ministry knows if he casts any magic

- Leta gets a flash back so we can learn about her a little bit and we get some interaction between her and young Newt. 

(The actor playing young Newt was probably the best acting of the movie.)

And back to Paris!

10)  So Grindelwald using a skull hookah to create a 3D powerpoint?  So he wants Credence - makes sense because he wanted the Obscurus in the first movie.  Why?  We will find out in the last two minutes of the movie.

11)  So Newt is using magic powder of some sort to do some high level Batman investigative stuff to find Tina.  But isn't he on a secret mission for Dumbledore?  Yes he is.  Will we learn what that mission is?  Not until the last two minutes of the movie.

So I guess we get to follow Credence who is being followed by random guy at the Ministry while Tina is trying to find Credence while Newt is trying to find Tina and I'm trying to find out what the heck is going on.

12)  So evil Ministry guy is secretly working for Grindelwald and his purpose was to kill a random little person.  Credence attacks bad guy but is unable to hurt him.  And this guy is supposed to be able to defeat Dumbledore?  I hope Dumbledore knows the magic bubble move.  By the way, where does the bad guy go after speaking with Grindelwald?  Do we see him the rest of the movie?

13)  At some point we learn Grindelwald is holding a rally to bring together his followers.  It's a peaceful rally (and he doesn't start to kill everyone until all his followers leave but more on that in a bit).  Before the rally, we have a scene where everyone we care about meets up and we finally are given a giant dump of what has been going on this whole time.

A)  So Kama wants to kill Credence because he promised his father (via an unbreakable vow) to kill the thing/person that the guy who stole his wife loved the most.  By the way, what was the thing in Kama's eye?  Who put it there?  Why was Nicolas Flamel in this movie?  Was he even needed?  Who did he talk to in his magic book?

B)  The guy that stole Kama's father's wife was Leta's dad so originally, Kama was going to kill Leta, but actually Papa Lestrange didn't care about Leta either.  The only thing Papa Lestrange cared about was a baby, a baby that he sent to America with Leta and that little person from earlier that the bad guy killed.  So the baby wouldn't stop crying on the boat to America, so Leta swamped him with a quiet baby.  The quiet baby was actually Credence and baby Lestrange actually drowned.  So we finally learn that's what Leta saw when looking at the Boggart.  Also, was that the Titanic?

- We actually get a visual family tree in the movie.  Thanks, movie.  If you have to bust out a family tree, don't you think we need to re-evaluate your story telling technique?

14)  So now that that has all been cleared up, it's time for the climax - the Grindelwald rally.  As I mentioned above, he kills a lot of Aurors, who don't put up much of a fight at all.  Then sadly Queenie and Credence join Grindelwald and Leta fights and dies.  Everyone else makes it out safely and Newt accomplishes his mission - getting some sort of item that physically represents a blood pact that Grindelwald and Dumbledore made to never fight each other.  It's essentially the LOST game where Jacob and the MIB couldn't kill each other directly so Grindelwald needs someone that can kill Dumbledore and that person is supposed to be Credence who BIG TWIST is possibly also a Dumbledore and he has a phoenix - maybe Fawkes.

Jeez.  That's a lot of plot to cut through like a vine filled jungle.  Just like the first movie, this is going to take a couple watches to attempt to enjoy / understand / make sense of it all.

Things I liked

- Dumbledore mentioning to Newt about a phoenix coming to a Dumbledore in a time of need and then it actually happening at the end (allegedly)

- Leta saying I love you in the direction of both Newt and Theseus

- Newt and Theseus hug at the end of the movie

- Grindelwald makes a compelling argument and World World 2 does happen and it's a threat to not only the wizarding world, but humanity itself